We were approved for adoption through LDS Family Services for 6 months when we got the call from our caseworker. Our caseworker left a message to give her a call, and Carl looked at Shauna and whispered, "What if this is it?"
When we called our caseworker back, she said that a birth mom had chosen us to be the parents of her baby, and to check our email to find a message from the birth mom, Korinne. Korinne wrote that she felt really comfortable with giving us the opportunity to raise her son, and wanted to make sure we were okay with a transracial child. We immediately had our caseworker give her a big “Yes!” and wrote her a letter expressing our gratitude for her.
About a month later, we flew to North Dakota to meet her. We were so excited about meeting her, but we were so nervous. As we were driving to the ward house where we were to meet, Shauna was suddenly overcome with anxiety about how to greet Korinne. How do you greet someone who already means so much to you? Shauna immediately began praying that the greeting would go well.
As soon as the door opened, we both started crying, and walked right up to Korinne and hugged her. She was crying too, and all of our anxiety and fear immediately melted away. We spent the next four hours talking and getting to know her. We discussed our lives and families, baby names, and lots of other things. She gave us ultrasound photos of her sweet little baby boy. We couldn't believe how easy it was to talk to her, and how much we instantly loved her. We felt so comfortable being with her, and so at peace. The caseworker kept trying to wrap things up, but none of us wanted to stop talking.
Finally, we went back to our hotel, and we were so excited and euphoric. The next day, we went to the temple with the family that Korinne lived with, and they told us that Korinne seemed more at peace and happier after meeting us than she had earlier. After the temple, we went back to their house to spend more time with Korinne, and to get to know her even better.
The next day we were flying home, and we had breakfast with Korinne before our flight. We had a hard time leaving her, and knew we would miss her terribly. We made plans to send emails, and talk on the phone.
A few weeks later, she came to Utah with her family, and we got the opportunity to spend more time with her. Again, we had so much fun and our love for her continued to grow. We had a hard time saying goodbye, but she reminded us that she only had 10 weeks left before the baby was due.
We prepared the nursery, shopped for baby clothes, and made arrangements while keeping in contact with Korinne. At one point, we began to realize that while we were so excited and couldn’t wait for the baby, it would mean that Korinne would soon have to go through heartache. When we mentioned to her that we were excited but sad for her, she said, “It will be okay. It will be the hardest thing I ever do in my life, but it’s meant to be.” We couldn’t believe how fortunate we were to have such an amazing and strong friend in Korinne, who could reassure us while going through her own difficulties.
Near the end of September, we flew to North Dakota to wait for the baby’s arrival. We spent a couple of days with Korinne, and then took a little 2 hour road trip to visit the Peace Gardens in Canada. The next morning, we got a call from the family Korinne was living with to come to the hospital. She didn’t say that the baby was here, but we knew he had to be. We were so excited and anxious on our way to the hospital.
Once we arrived, we walked in to see Korinne holding the most beautiful baby we had ever seen. We sat with her for a while, and asked questions about her labor and delivery and how she was. After a bit, she let us hold him, and it was the most wonderful thing in the world. He was so tiny and perfect. Carl got to feed him a bottle, and we both got to help give him a bath. We were so happy, but also worried about Korinne. It was a very emotional day.
The next day was placement day. We had made arrangement to meet at the ward house we had originally met Korinne at for the placement. We didn’t know what time it would be, because they told Korinne she was free to check out of the hospital, but could stay as long as she wanted to that day. We waited and waited for our case worker to call us. Around 7:00 that night we finally started to get a little bit worried that something had gone wrong, but we had confirmation that this was supposed to be our baby, so we weren’t too worried.
Finally at around 9:00 PM we received the call that Korinne was ready, and to meet her for placement. As we drove there, we were overcome with excitement and anxiety. We knew we were about to go through the most emotional time we had ever gone through in our lives.
When we walked in, Korinne was very somber as she held her baby boy. She kept her eyes on him and wouldn’t look up at us. We were very quiet too. After a while, in a broken voice, she told us about all of her hopes and dreams for her son. She told us about how she wanted us to give him an extra kiss from her every time he fell and scraped his knees. She told us to tell him how much she loves him. She told us that she was honored that we would raise him and be his parents. After talking for a while, she finally looked up at Shauna and asked, “Are you ready?” Then she stood up, and placed her beautiful son in Shauna’s arms. We sobbed and hugged her. We couldn’t let go of her. We told her how much we loved her and we told her, “Thank you.” Then she and her family turned and walked away. We couldn’t believe how hard it was to see her leave. We felt like our hearts were being ripped out of our chests at her pain. On one hand, we were so excited to finally be holding our son, and to be parents, but we were so heartbroken for her. We went back to our hotel room with our sweet little baby, filled with love and amazement for Korinne.
We spent the next two days enjoying our new little baby. He was the cutest, sweetest, best baby in the whole world. Before we left North Dakota to go home, we had the opportunity to meet with Korinne again and give her some pictures that we had taken in the two days since placement.
At first we were a little nervous, because we didn’t know how Korinne would be, and if it would be too hard for her to see the baby. We didn’t need to worry. While we knew Korinne was still having a hard time, we were able to see her smiling and happy. We were able to take a couple more pictures of her with Garrett with a big smile on her face. It made us realize that she would be okay, and we didn’t need to feel guilty.
Since then, we have enjoyed an open adoption with Korinne. Although she decided she didn’t want any contact a few months after Garrett was born, later she changed her mind, and we were able to talk to her and send pictures again. We have been able to see her several times, and we were honored to attend her wedding in the Ogden Temple. She now has a beautiful baby girl, and she invited us to her daughter’s blessing. We are so happy to be able to share in Korinne’s life, and for her to share in ours.
We are so grateful for Korinne. She will always hold a special place in our hearts and in our family. Garrett knows how much Korinne loves him, and we love her so much. We are so thankful for birth moms, and for adoption. We know that adoption is one of the most powerful things on Earth. We are so humbled by the fact that we are able to be parents because of someone else’s sacrifice and love. We are eternally grateful for Korinne, and for the miracle of adoption.
